Can I Be Your Muffin Man? (An Andy x Tyler Fanfic xD)

Chapter 3-Day One of Hell

Characters talking in this chapter:
Andy talks in red. Tyler's Mom talks in dark blue. Random characters talk in white. Blossom talks in purple.Vince talks in light blue. (Mr.)Brandon talks in brown.

Andy is the narrator.
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I walked out of my English class the next day to a rather interesting site, and by interesting I mean flipping insane.

"Tee hee! Mr. Brandon, you are such an amazing teacher! You are like totally amazing!"

"Yeah, like totally A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! You are like so amazing that I made you this heart made out of my English notes!" Oh look- Mr. I have been teaching here for three days and already accomplished to get more of a fanclub than Miley Cyrus and High School Musical combined- has made a girl shove paper heart girl. Please tell me this is going to end up as a cat fight.

" Yeah, well, I like got him coffee! I heard he likes coffee" Insert scary giggling here.

"Ugh, right. Thanks girls? That's really....creepy- I mean nice- of you. Haha. Where did you girls say you wanted to go again?" Is it just me or did his little fanclub have the words 'To your bedroom so we can have Mr.Brandon babies!' written all over their faces?

Insert even more giggling here. I wonder if my mind will explode if it takes in any more giggle impact...? "The nurse's office!"

"Why? Is something wrong-" And because irony is my stalker, one of the girls fainted. FAINTED.

"Oh, look at the time! it's time for me to go somewhere that isn't here so I don't get fired for making my student faint! Haha. bye!" Was it just me, or did he just say 'suckers' under his breath? Oh well, all I know is I am staying away from fangirls.

"ANDY! THERE YOU ARE!" Too late.

"Hi Blossom and Vince....and...um...Blossom's new piece of man meat?"

"No silly, this is Geoff! And he is much more than just a piece of sexiness!"

"RIGHT. Well, I wish you luck, Geoff." Before Blossom could do whatever the hell it was she was going to do, I looked over to see Vince glaring at Mr. Brandon's fangirl. Well, I guess he is just jealous of Mr.Brandon or something...?

"So, how is your project going?"

"Blossom, the project just started today."

"Oh yeah....... I guess I just was too busy staring at Geoff's abs to care. Speaking of Geoff's abs, did I mention that he has nice abs? 6 PACKS, BABY! SO HOT AND ALL MINE! MWAHAHA!" RED ALERT! RED ALERT! RABID FANGIRL MOMENT COMING ON! RUN WHILE YOU CAN! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

"Ugh.....right..... well....um....I think it is about time I go start my project...."

"More Geoff abs for me!"

-A walk to Andy's doom later-

Day one of living in the evil polo wearing overlord's house and I must say that it is hell. I'm not talking about the hell where you play DDR with Satan, I'm talking about the hell where in the two seconds you walked into the muffin molester's house you already start being lectured.

"Take off your shoes. If you are to be staying in my house hold for this week, you will follow all my rules and do all the jobs that Tyler must do. You will sleep when told to sleep, do your school work when you are told to, and to speak when spoken to. Is that understood, young man?"

Young man? "Yes, ma'am! I hope that I won't be much trouble."

"You must likely will, but it isn't your fault. Most boys at this age are trouble." Yikes, It's nice to meet you, too.

"....I....um....will do my best not to be like that even so."

"Good. I hope you enjoy your stay. Seeing as today is a weekend you will have the pleasure of cleaning the house and studying for at least an hour. I don't allow my son to act lazy and I won't let you either. My husband is working for most of the day, so you won't see him till later."

When I think of pleasure, the first thing that comes to mind isn't video games or free food, oh no, but being a Mother's cleaning slave along with killing my brain cells!

"Yes ma'am!"
I ran off to start doing the scary lady's orders. I never knew evil under lords would bother to live in such a huge house......

-A few bushes away-

"Tell me again why you brought me along to do your sins again, Blossom?"

"because silly, I need you so that if Andy finds out I am here, he will yell at you instead!"

"How nice of you. Can I go home now so I can go back to my ladies?" Blossom sends Vince an evil grin.

"Girls? What girls? I am the all knowing Blossom, and I know how your mind works and no where in your mind are you thinking about ladies, instead you think about-"

"You are a crazy fangirl, you know nothing other than yaoi and how hot Geoff is. Now, mind telling me why you are even bothering to stalk Andy?"

"Not just Andy, we will be stalking Tyler next! And Mr.Brandon!"

"...............Why?"

"You'll see. I know all, remember? Somebody needs to play match maker."

"What?!" Blossom snickers.

"I know how this will end up and I always know you Love M-"

To Be Continued.
(MWAHA! Cliff hanger =P)

GEOFF ABS!!!!!! *Drools* I'm think I'm going to faint! *faints* BRAVO BRAVO!!!! GEOFF ABS!!!....Oh yeah the other part of it was good but not as good as the abs part

Blossom wrote:

GEOFF ABS!!!!!! *Drools* I'm think I'm going to faint! *faints* BRAVO BRAVO!!!! GEOFF ABS!!!....Oh yeah the other part of it was good but not as good as the abs part

There will be more of Geoff's abs and butt to come =D! And of course yaoi~

BUTT I WANNA SEE THAT GOOD LOOKING BOOTY NOW!!!!!!

Chapter 4- Being Hit on By Creeps

Characters talking in this chapter:
Tyler talks in green. Andy's little brother talks in white. Chuck E. Cheese talks in Olive xD Blossom talks in purple.Vince talks in light blue.
Tyler will be narrating this chapter.
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If I could, I would sigh, but sadly I can not for my mouth is being attacked. No you closet pervert, I don't mean in that way, I mean some idiotic little kid is shoving pizza down my throat. What did you think, I was making out with the kid? If that is the case, you have moved up to the level of being a Micheal Jackson pervert. Congrats.

"Hey, Tyler! I'm 7! Did you like being 7? I like being 7! My favorite number is 7 because it is like the most awesome of all awesome numbers! My brother doesn't like the number 7, maybe it is because you don't like the number 7? BUTDON'TWORRYBECAUSEILIKEYOUTHEWAYYOUARE!" Does anybody speak hyper?

"Please stop talking, we are in a public place."

"BUT I DON'T WANNA! I wanna go ask Chuck E. if he likes the number 7!" Oh, did I forget to mention that this annoying little person forced me to take him to an over-prized kid friendly place that apparently sells beer? The things I do for school.....

I sighed. He pouted. "Fine." I sighed again. He did a victory dance. Why does the world hate me?

So I walk the little person to the over sized rat and sighed yet again as the sugar high kid started to pretty much rape the poor guy. Speaking of rape.....

"Hey there, I'm getting off work in a few, want to...you know?"

"No, I don't know what 'dot dot dot' means. Care to make somewhat of an effort to make sense?"

"...Oh, that's cool. I guess you just don't swing that way? Oh well, have my number anyways." What the hell does that mean?! If I were to become Super man for 2 seconds, I think I would see the most likely 50 year old man who still lives with his mother winking at me. Does anybody have a knife or gun in there pocket and if so, would they mind donating it to me? It's for a good cause, the 'STRANGER DANGER' charity.

"........" And with my lack of response he walked away. Well, he more or less waddled away seeing as he was dressed up in rat costume. What's next? Is the Mattress Man going to ask me out?

"Why doesn't Chuck E. give me his phone number?! OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH, I GET IT! HEHE! Hey, maybe I should bring Andy here next time? Maybe then Chucky will give him his number and then I could get allllllllllllllllllll the free pizza I want if they get married!"

"Guys don't marry guys, unless Chuck E. turns into Chucklette, I don't think that is going to happen."

"Says you! You haven't heard Andy sleeping!" To this I raised my eyebrow. Not like I care or anything. Not at all.

"Right, well, whatever. I still don't care, why anybody would want to go out with a over-sized mouse is beyond me."

"Oh, I see! I SEE! So, if you don't wanna go out with Chuck E., then you want to go out with my big bro?" Did this kid not watch the Lion King? The circle of life consists of a man and woman, not a man and man. Unless I missed the part where Simba made out with a another male lion, Animal Planet style...?

"..................................... Please shut up before I shut you up."

"ANDY AND TYLER SITTING IN A CAR, ARE THE NAKED, YES THEY ARE!" Well, if people weren't looking before, they sure are now.

"We are going home."

"AW! You're no fun, I didn't get to part 2 of my song!"

"-____- I don't care."

"Meanie! I'm telling Andy on you!"

"I still don't care nor do I feel intimated by you or Andy. Now come on, before your mother kills me."

- A few cars away-


"I hate you."

"I love you, too!"

"It is one thing to ask me to come and stalk with you, it is another to black mail me."

" Do you want the whole school to know that you not only have a crush on an older person, but an older teacher who is every female student's wet dream who has a peni- "(xD Don't kill me male members, I come in peace AND with cookies)

"Shut it."

"ANYWAYS, We are adding the little one to are group, he should come in handy. So young grasshopper, what have we learned?"

"That you are crazy and evil."


"Nooo, we have learned that A x T= love and that you have a thing for" she giggles "Biology"

"SHUT IT!"

To be continued.

Preview: "Oh dear, it would seem he isn't breathing. What a shame. So, who wants tacos?"
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD You'll see.

I WANT TACO'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Yeah the new couple is VinceX---

I shouldn't say.... xDDDD

Chapter 5- Yo Momma!

Characters talking in this chapter:
Andy talks in red. Tyler talks in green. Blossom talks in purple.Vince talks in blue. Mr.Brandon talks in Brown. Chulance talks in gray. [color:475f=dark blue]Geoff talks in dark blue Random characters talk in white.

Blossom will be narrating this chapter.
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No males have been harmed in the making of this chapter.

Have you ever seen signs flashing Turn this way Stop, slow down children, touch me here, rape me and WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?! ....? Well, I have been seeing these signs for the past few days and dammit, I'm going to do something about it, for the sake of fangirls everywhere! Right after I finish looking at Geoff's butt. What?! Being his girlfriend gives me the right to look at his male parts! And what good male parts they are, I mean have you seen his butt? It is in the shape of a heart! So squishy and lovely and-

[color:475f=dark blue]"Ugh, babe, isn't that your dude friend trying to drown himself in the water fountain?"

-yet hard and rocky at the same time and-

[color:475f=dark blue]"Blossom?"

"Gah! How is a girl suppose to have wet thoughts about her boyfriend when he is distracting her? ......I mean um....no, I wasn't looking at your lower parts!....Maybe for just a few minutes....or hours or....months" Ek! He grinned at me!

"And that is why I love ya', but before we continue talking about my hotness, I think you should save that dude from killing himself."

"Fine! The things I do for Andy. Stay here and look hot while I'm gone." And Geoff being the good wiped boy he is did so. I walked over to Andy and sighed. Vince was also standing there with a 'o___o I didn't do anything, he went crazy on his own' expression on.

"Andy, It's time to go to Biology."

"I know, that's why I am trying to get enough water to go into my head so that maybe I won't have to go."

" Why, did staying over Tyler's house didn't go so well?"

"Didn't go so well? DIDN'T GO SO WELL?! Blossom, the lady has a bazooka right next to her mop! A BAZOOKA!"

".....Your Mother isn't a ray of sun shine either, don't fill your mind with such ludicrous thoughts on my family while yours is trying to get Chuck E. Cheese as a husband."

"What does a rat have to do with anything, you muffin stealer?!"

"That again? Honestly, I thought you would have come up with a better insult than that by now."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the type to go insulting people unlike you. I'm not that kind of a guy. UNLIKE YOU WHO HAS TO TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY!"

"Of course I take things seriously, if I didn't I would end up like you."

"Yeah, well, WHAT?! YOU LITTLE! THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR MUFFIN STEALING WAYS!" So, Andy and Tyler ran to Mr.Brandon pretty much having a Yo Momma! showdown on the way there. Aw, they are having their first fight! I of course followed them to make sure they didn't kill each other. Not to, you know, think of ideas to get them together. Nope, not at all. I also forced Vince to come, even though he hates going to Biology. Boys can be so blind sometimes, mixing their hate with their likes.

"MR. BRANDON!"

"....Mr.Brandon."

"You know, when students want to get on a teacher's good side, they usually don't come running into that teacher's room knocking over papers he took five hours writing."

Andy scratched his head sheepishly "Haha, sorry about that. I just wanted to ask if you could change my partner. He is mean and is a muffin stealer."

"And you are melancholy, I only have animosity towards you."


"Stop saying things I can't come up with a comeback to! And while you are at it, stop using words like 'melancholy' and 'animosity'."

"You can both keep acting like a married couple all you want, but it isn't going to help your case. Maybe I would consider changing your partners, but seeing as my papers are still on the floor, I won't. That, and I just don't like you two."

"BUT!"

"Please, spare me the yo momma! showdown,Andrew, and just take your seat. You too, Tyler. I will be expecting you both to complete your life switch for the next week without pmsing, is that understood?"

"Yes sir."

"....Fine, But I don't like it." Andy went to his set pouting as Tyler went bored. Well, that was interesting. I looked over my shoulder to see Vince glaring at Mr.Brandon. I really have to buy that boy a 'How to Get Your Crush to Like You Without Being a Fart for Dummy's!' book.

"You know, glaring at him isn't going to get you anywhere."

" I DO NOT LIKE MR.BRANDON YOU CRAZY WOMEN!" This made all the females of the class turn around and gasp.

"YOU DON'T LIKE MR.BRANDON?! B...but he's so handsome! And hot! And Smart!"

"Don't forget about how sexy he would look in only a tie!"

"SQUEAL! Why didn't I think about that before?!" Vince was blushing and pissed at the same time. I wonder how he does that.

"Shut it, you girls are even worse than Blossom! I hate this school." I looked to the front of the room to see Mr.Brandon mumbling something I couldn't hear. He looked up from his desk to start the class and before I knew it the day was over.

"You all better get started on day two of your projects as I go rewrite my papers thanks to" He clears his throat "students who make me want to quit my job even more than usual." I looked over to Vince who had his hands in a fist at Mr.Brandon's last remark. I looked over to my left to see Andy with his -insert I HATE YOU face here- and Tyler with a -insert Must I really go and take care of that sugar demon again? face here-

These poor boys, they have no clue what I am going to do to them today. Maybe I should give them my old barbie bike helmet and knee pads...? Nah, I don't think they will be needing any clothing when I am done with them.

"Just to let you know, I'm not asking because I care, but why didn't your Father come home at all yesterday?" ...Oh no.

"None of your business, Muffin stealer. I'm leaving, have fun at Football practice." Andy stormed off and I just sighed shaking my head at Tyler who still kept his bored expression on while I knew he was all but bored at Andy's tense reaction to his question. At the rate this is going, I think I may have to buy every male alive a 'How to Get Your Crush to Like You Without Being a Fart for Dummy's!' book. Oh well, BACK TO GEOFF'S BUTT!

-A few desks away-
"Keep pretending that you are a normal teenager, Andy, but I know what you are and soon everybody else will, too."

To be Continued

(Note that the previews are for later on in the story)

"....I'm pregnant....with your....baby..."

"REALLY?!"

"....no."

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!.....I'm sorry... EEEE!!!.... If I was writing that chapter I would have said.... I was looking at your lower part... lol